Seriously cheap. Not “Dinner is cat food.” cheap, but more like “I do not need an iPhone.” cheap. I have been avoiding the purchase of material goods whenever possible (the exception being technology purchases for the purpose of keeping my skills sharp). When I do need to make a purchase (clothes, furniture, vehicles, etc.) I look for the cheapest option with an acceptable level of quality.

I am not suggesting that people should buy inferior products. I am suggesting that most “luxury” items are just poor substitutes for actual achievements.

You earn a certain amount in salary, and you go buy an $80,000 automobile. You get a promotion and then go move into a bigger and fancier house. You earn more, so you spend more. This is what the advertisements that bombard us dictate that we do.

Material wealth is bullshit. The car that is purchased on credit, and the home that is mortgaged to the breaking point are burdens. The diamond engagement ring is not a testament of true love. The big screen television and home entertainment system do not make your life more fulfilling.

Money is good to have in abundance, but material goods are not. Materials goods are wealth drainers. Material goods that are not acquired for the purpose of generating revenues will merely reduce your resources. Reduce your resources enough and you will end up going into debt.

Less is more. Reduce your consumption of material goods however possible. Save whatever income you can. Eliminate all debt in order to keep your head clear when making financial decisions.

Be miserly when it comes to buying new goods. Be cheap when it comes to material consumption. After paying off your debt save your money to purchase experiences with (travel, education, witnessing the arts, etc.). Do this, and the material goods that you do end up acquiring will be in the pursuit of your true passion. Let’s face it – most of us really do not care about luxury cars and big houses.

I am not talking about just one or two commitments here, but several that were a top priority for me a few years ago. I think that I will be ending other commitments as well in the near future. These are not life long type commitments, such as my marriage which I have no intention of altering whatsoever, but commitments where I feel the primary objective was reached and that the commitment has been fulfilled.

An associate responded to me that he did not like being “brushed off so easily”.

Brushing someone off is not the objective here. Breaking free of restraints or freeing up resources for new challenges is the objective. I am trying to accomplish my goals, and that requires that I prioritize and re-evaluate how I spend my time according to my available resources.

If this causes others to take offense… tough. I do not want to offend anyone. I do not want to sever any friendships.

I also do not want to spend my time on other people’s priorities. I will not spend my time on other people’s priorities.

People change. I have changed. I dedicated over a decade of my life in the pursuit of someone else’s priorities. I put great effort into the pursuit of my last company going public. I wanted to reap the rewards of an IPO. Eventually I was laid off.

That was business, but I learned a lesson the day that I was laid off: Pursue your own goals for yourself.

Let other people deal with making their own dreams come true. If they take offense with you moving on in the pursuit of your own dreams they are not your friends. They are people trying to hold you back.

Brush them off.

There is nothing wrong with any of these displays as I have described them. They are wonderful examples of people practicing their faith via their freedom of religion. I may be an atheist, but I certainly can appreciate and respect another person creating works of art and erecting them in praise of their religious beliefs.

The problem with these examples though is that all three are or were on display on public land owned by the government. The statue of Jesus, that cross at Ground Zer0, or the Ten Commandments display are all on government owned publicly accessible land. These violate the Establishment Clause, which is part of the first amendment of the Constitution:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

It is that first statement that is so important, because by not respecting any establishment of religion we guarantee that no religion will gain favored status over another. If we allow just one religion to be favored we must then deal with the consequences. Some may not believe that such consequences would be severe. I believe that they would be devastating.

The devastation will be mainly applied to religions though. Which religions will we allow to be represented? Christianity? Even if we did limit the selection to just Christianity which version? Lutheran? Catholicism? Baptists? Evangelicals?

Imagine if each of those monuments that I mentioned in the first paragraph were all representations of the Catholic Madonna, or the Buddha, or even L. Ron Hubbard? Think of how offended some religious people would be, not because the monument is a religious one but because it is not a monument for their religion. This is just the mere tip of the iceberg though when the state supports (not defends) a religious expression.

The real devastation comes the moment the state denies a religious monument because the state does not recognize the validity of that religion. So you put a big Jesus statue on a mountain, and then to make sure you represent all people you put a big Star of David next to it, and then you put a huge Buddha next to that. But then along come the Satanists, Wiccans, Scientologists, and others who practice a fringe religion that others object to.

And at this point the state says “Enough already! None of you fringe groups may have your monuments on this mountain!”

You just had the state decide that a religion is not valid. You just had the state tell people what they should and should not believe. Oh the state may not have actually said that all those religions were less than Christianity, Judaism, or Buddhism, but the mountain and its monuments make it clear who the state favors and endorses.

And if the state can go that far, it will go farther still. One day that Buddha statue will have to go. Too expensive to maintain since it requires a gold paint job every now and then. Then that Star of David will have to go, because those six points are a safety hazard. Then all that will remain is that Jesus statue, and since so many people love Jesus the state will want to make those people happy. So the state will take that Jesus statue’s maintenance off the hands of the private owners who originally constructed it.

Then the state will decide that Jesus’s robes would look better if painted red, white, and blue. Then the state will use the words of the Bible to endorse the state’s latest proposals and policies. Soon you no longer have a Jesus statue, or Christianity. What you have is a theocracy. The state is the religion of the land.

You get the Taliban, and not religious freedom.

This is the true danger that emerges when we ignore the separation of church and state. This is the evil of power that results in the slow corruption of that which is sacred into that which is blasphemous.

As an atheist, my fear of religious monuments on public land has nothing to do with the religions that are represented. My fear is that eventually no religion will be represented, but that worship of the state will be mandatory.

The separation of church and state is not meant to oppress religion. The separation of church and state protects religions from being oppressed. So if you love Jesus, get his statue off the state’s mountain. Otherwise you might lose the right to worship Jesus at all.

But now I hate talking to gamers about gaming.

Hate might be too strong of a word at times, but that is the word that I wish to use here for effect. Now I want to be clear:

1) I like talking to gamers.

2) I do not like talking to gamers about gaming.

I don’t know why, but something has snapped within me regarding this particular subject and this particular group. Perhaps I have just muddied the waters too much with all of the theories bouncing around inside of my head at this time. I probably just need a break from the discussion. I am incredibly frustrated with myself not having completed various gaming related projects that I have started.

That might be why I am reacting the way that I am. I think I just need to stop talking about gaming, and to especially stop talking about gaming with other gamers. I need to insulate myself and my ideas from the public. I used to think that you created material via feedback, but now I am not so sure. Is it possible that you use feedback in order to kill the material instead?

Anyhow, no more gaming articles.

No, not really. People who crack sites are still petty criminals when you think about it. I mean they are no different than a vandal, or robber, except that a cracer does their damage via a different medium.

Anyhow, I still have some work to do on the site. Tweaking of themes, deciding which plugins to re-install, etc. Nothing major, but if you happen to come across a problem buzz me however you prefer (you’ll find a way) and I’ll take care of it.

For now I just want to think about what I am going to do with this site. I like having a blog (or two actually) for my personal creativity. Gaming does not hold much of an appeal for me anyomore though. I think this site just might turn into more of a personal journal.

Regardless, the site is back up and running. One more thing done and off of the to-do list!

The plane impacted floors 93 through 99. The people located on floors 92 through 110 were trapped. My brain was racing with all of the information that kept pouring in. Another plane struck the second tower, then the Pentagon, and yet another plane had crashed somewhere in Pennsylvania. I went numb emotionally and focused on my work which now was focused on how my company would retrieve any data lost in the attack and what was needed to get the New York team back to work (the human resources department had the job of accounting for all of our New York staff, and luckily our company lost no one that day). I was later commended for how I kept so calm and focused during the crisis and was able to quickly put a plan together for what my department needed to do following the attacks.

Calm and focused? I was keeping busy to prevent my reaction to one thought that kept racing through the back of my mind:

“If they had launched this attack one year earlier and struck six floors lower I would be dead.”

And what would I be dead for? It was just an office building.

I was just another worker earning a paycheck and doing my job. I was not doing anything special or even that difficult. I was just making sure that the staff had their phones and their PCs running. It was just a typical office setup, and one year later it was all gone.

When I got home that day I held my wife and she cried in my arms. She had had the same thoughts as I. She had done the math herself and knew that it was only a matter of a date and some altitude that kept her from being a widow. She did the reasonable thing: She cried.

Me? I did not cry. I probably should have. I had no tears simply because I could not fathom it all. I have always been like that. When there is a real crisis I just shut down emotionally. If I am being emotional it means that there is no real crisis.

That is what I do. I just shut down my emotions and go numb. It works for the moment, but not for the long term. I still wrestle with the thought that I could have been one of those nearly 3,000 people who were just going about their daily routine and then were murdered for no reason at all.

A natural disaster I can deal with. Earthquakes, tsunamis, tornadoes, floods, meteorites, lightning, brushfires, and even killer bees just happen. That is nature. Nature is both cruel and wonderful, and it is always a chaotic dance from which an order eventually emerges.

But murder? Murdering strangers? Murdering strangers to make a point?

It is ridiculous that nearly 3,000 people died so that a point could be made. The World Trade Center was not a symbol for capitalism. It was not a monument to American politics or power.

It was just an office building.

I do not think I will ever be able to make sense of what happened that day. I just cannot come to terms with why anyone would want to murder strangers who were simply going to work, or were attending school, or wanted to see a midnight showing of a movie, or were worshipping in the church of their choice.

I cannot make sense of any these things, and I have not lost a loved one to any such event like them. I would probably break down completely if I ever did suffer such a personal loss.

I do not even know how to end this article. It is still too much for me to make sense of. Why were all of those people murdered?

It was just an office building.

Since I am so close to finishing up watching all of the television series I decided to start on the movies. Netflix is a beautiful thing, and I soon had a blu-ray copy of the director’s edition of Star Trek: The Motion Picture. This is the movie that launched the film franchise back in 1979.

Too bad it sucks.

I mean that. I was going to post this article yesterday, but I was worried that people might think of it as an April Fools’ Day joke.

Now I had seen this movie years ago as a kid, but I could not recall what it was about. I had seen Star Wars in the theater as a kid and I could always recall in great detail the plot long before videotape was around to allow me to watch it whenever I wished. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn came out in 1982 and I could clearly recall the plot from seeing that film in the theater as well.

I now know why I “forgot” about this film – it is completely forgettable. While there are a few scenes that any fan of Star Trek would enjoy the overall work is long, boring, and unexceptional. So while fans may get great tidbits of Trek out of this film people who are not fans probably watch this and lose all interest in ever watching anything having to do with Star Trek ever again.

Captain Kirk is pretty much incompetent throughout the film. Kirk is now an admiral who has been working a desk job for far too long it seems. He takes over command of the Enterprise once again upon an alien threat being discovered by Starfleet.

Kirk spends more time repeating what has just been stated and responding with a question composed of very few syllables (“Why?”, “What?”, “How?”, etc.) than he does actually commanding the mission. Furthermore the Enterprise has just undergone a refit and it is less than optimal in its operation, and Kirk is not familiar with how the ship has been changed. It is because of this over used theme that you never get the sense that these icons of the franchise are the heroes that you remember from the original television series.

The other problem is that the plot is slow moving. The whole movie is based upon the Enterprise being sent to investigate a strange and destructive entity heading towards Earth. There is an incident with a worm hole being created due to a problem with the first use of the refitted Enterprise’s warp drives (an example of the previously mentioned incompetence) and it is comical in how long it takes to resolve the threat versus how much the audience cares about the threat. This occurs during an early part of the film, so you know the Enterprise won’t be destroyed. The whole incident is resolved by the crew members basically sitting at their consoles.
I will attempt to explain this scene with greater detail. The threat is that the Enterprise creates a worm hole that is hurtling it at an asteroid. Halfway through the scene Kirk issues a command to fire the phasers, but that order is belayed by Commander Decker (a new character overrides Kirk?) because Kirk’s command would have destroyed the Enterprise. We later learn that this is because Kirk did not know about changes made to the Enterprise’s weapons and engines, so there would have been… oh fucking forget it.

Here is the short version: It takes about ten minutes for the crew of the Enterprise (which is now a clunker) to deal with a rock, and Kirk has forgotten how to drive.

There is a nice twist at the end of the film as to what the true nature of the alien threat is, but the film is basically two hours of waiting for it to be revealed despite that you probably have lost interest about thirty minutes into the film. Every little thing is drawn out. The first look at the refitted Enterprise, the process of small ships docking with larger ones, the Klingons’ first encounter with the alien threat, and so on, and so on. What you end up with is something that would have made a really nice 45 minute television episode turned into a 2 hour excuse for taking a nap.

The whole film reminded me of a bad night of roleplaying with a game master who has a clever premise, boring encounters, pet NPCs, and a complete lack of insight into whether or not the players are having any fun. In the end the GM looks at the table and says “How can you not be having fun? Its D&D!” or whatever game you please.

How can I not enjoy this movie? Its Star Trek!

The lesson the I learned from this film is that even if you have the best ingredients to work with you still have to prepare them using a good recipe in order to make a great meal. This film was like watching a prime cut of steak being boiled until it becomes grey mush. If it weren’t for the fans of Star Trek making the first film profitable enough to justify the studio making a sequel (it nearly did not happen because of the critics’ reviews) this film could have killed Star Trek.

Consider it a Trekkie badge of honor when you watch this film, because it is an obvious display of your love for the franchise being greater than your sense of self preservation.

Make no mistake – these games are good! Just as good as any game that you can buy in the stores. Even more important is that the free offerings are getting better at a pace that is faster than their commercial counterparts are from what I can see. It is as if RPGs are becoming a commodity item.

This changes everything. Big companies like Wizards of the Coast can’t compete with free. This is not like Apple versus Microsoft versus Linux where Linux does not have a huge market share because people need to run software that requires Windows or want to use OS X as part of a lifestyle choice (seriously, this is part of Apple’s marketing strategy). With RPGs the game itself is just a component to enable the group’s fun. If that component does not work you can switch it out easily. Why buy that component when you can get it for free?

The answer might be that people want to support the industry, but I really do not feel like supporting the industry. Individual artists and creators, sure, but the industry? Nah! It has not delivered results that meet my expectations.

You could make a case for buying a new RPG when it is the official release for a licensed property, but such games usually disappoint me. They cost too much and deliver too little in many instances. I can always recreate my favorite licensed property with one of those free RPGs anyhow.

The only two reasons that I can think of to buy an RPG today is:

1. Price – make it cheap enough to be an impulse buy and I might just buy it.
2. Extraordinary quality – such a game does appear from from time-to-time.

In the end, this just means that I as a fan of RPGs win. I have plethora of free games, another plethora of relatively cheap games, and a very small selection of extraordinary games with a higher price tag. The best part though is that those extraordinary games will continue to emerge in both the free and the cheap categories instead of the higher price tag category.

I’m sure someone reading this is crying out “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GAME DESIGNERS???”

I mean, from what I have seen in the business of RPGs the game designers can barely make rent as it is and I am probably being too optimistic with that statement.

The truth is that RPG designers will probably always make crap money, but that if they embrace the change to games being both great and cheap (if not outright free) that this is still better for them. They will probably have to find jobs other than being game designer to support themselves with but their work will reach a bigger audience without the need for an industry to get between them and their fans. Get enough fans to buy a cheap product and you can make some nice coin, if you cut out the middle man that is.

This is wonderful. We as RPG fans can just expect better and better products to come out for cheaper and cheaper prices. At least that is what I am betting on.

So why buy an RPG? Only because you are happy to do so.

This is the unintended lesson that is going to screw you up if you let it. The reward for pursuing knowledge is not just the knowledge itself, but also the benefits of applying that knowledge to different situations in new ways. Yet we are trained through years of schooling to get a reward of recognition. A good grade, a respected degree, and other such representations of success.

We are not taught to apply knowledge beyond the lesson being taught. We are taught to stop at the reward.

Note that these rewards are merely representations of success. They are milestones created by others so that you can correlate your achievements with others interpretations of success.

The A+ only matters to the teacher who grants it. The degree only matters to the institution that awards it. For the grade and the degree to matter beyond those who award them the society that we belong to  must recognize the people rewarding the grades and degrees as reputable.

An A+ from a stranger on the street is worthless, as is the degree from a non-accredited fly by night institution.

So why do we care so much what others think about what we are doing with our games? Why do we want others to acknowledge and encourage our personal projects?

I am sure that some people do not care what others think about their games at all, but I have observed others looking for acceptance of their next campaign idea or adventure outline. I know that I do this myself, and I have been trying not to. Looking outside of ourselves for recognition is not really a bad thing, but it can be a crutch.

Reviewing the projects that I have worked on in the past this is common even with highly creative people. We keep looking to others for approval. We want that A+. We want to be reassured.

This is a creativity killer.

We are taught to produce according to what others will say of the results. We do this at school. We do this at work. We are so comfortable with this being the way that things are done that we do it with our games.

What if instead we “gamed bravely” and just let it all hang out? No search for outside approval and recognition. No testing of ideas by bouncing them off of our friends.

What if we just ran the game that was lurking within? What if we produced the product that was swimming about in the ether of our minds?

I am going to find out.

The Bionic Ear

My left ear has had problems ever since I was a kid. About 8 years ago I had a surgery to repair a minor birth defect in the formation of the ear canal that was causing all of the problems. Thank you science for the MRI! The only reason that the doctor discovered the birth defect was because an MRI showed it. It was sort of like a “Oh, no wonder his ear has been having problems. We can fix that!” moment, but I was told that I might need a second surgery as many people eventually do following the first procedure.

Well I’m having that second surgery on March 19th. My left ear drum will be reinforced with cartilage to help it maintain the proper shape and one of the bones in my ear will be replaced with a titanium implant. This combined with a nose job I got at the age of 15 to fix my nose after a bad break (ironic that I got a nose job in order to get back my original nose) will make me about 0.00085% cyborg.

Consider yourselves warned…

GM’s Cookbook

Lots of good stuff has been created for this project, but real life has forced it to the side. Besides the surgery on my ear I also have some other concerns that I need to address. Nothing health or family related, but it does concern my career. I will not go into detail here, but it is time to assess what the next step is for my professional development.

Everyone should do this every few years. There is no reason to assume that your current profession, role, employer, or path is going to be the same for the rest of your life. What will change? Maybe nothing, but it is still time to assess the situation. Life is too short to be on the wrong path.

If one more person challenges my being an atheist…

If you are a person of faith, any type of faith, I will never ask you “Why?” Why you practice your faith is none of my business. Believe what you will, and I will not challenge you to believe something else.

The reason I will not challenge your faith is because I believe that it is rude to do so. That is my only reason for not challenging your faith. Who am I to tell you what you should or should not believe?

And I also believe that you have no right to challenge my atheism. I am an atheist. There is no God. Case closed. If you believe in God and then challenge my atheism I am going to start challenging your faith. I am well prepared to challenge faith because I once challenged my own, and I realized that I had none.

Some people consider that I lost my faith to be a sad moment, but while it was difficult for me at the time I am now much happier than I ever was before in my life lasting for many years now. I also feel more empowered, and I know that upon accepting the truth that there is no god(s) that I am a much more moral person.

The reason for all of this has nothing to do with my atheism. My happiness increased because I no longer worry about “God’s wrath” for having doubts about the Bible (it is just a book). I feel more empowered because I am now questioning beliefs that before I dared not to (no evil has befallen me for doing so). I am now a more moral person because I do the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do (instead of doing it because I feared a supernatural entity’s judgment).

Yet for some reason people have a tendency to ask “Are you a Christian?” at various occasions and events. I want to be clear that the people who ask me this question are self-proclaimed Christians, but I am not saying that Christians do this to me. Some people who happen to be Christians ask me this question, and not all Christians that I have met. I am guessing that the reason for this is because the various denominations of Christianity combined are the most popular form of faith here in the United States where I live.

When someone tries to “save my soul” I do appreciate what they think that they are doing for me, but trying to convert me from being an atheist is the exact same thing as my trying to convince another person to abandon their faith. It is rude, it is downright arrogant, and it is immoral.

Yes, I do not care what a person’s faith decrees, if you try to convert another person to your personal beliefs you are acting immorally. If someone approaches you and says “Tell me about your faith. Teach me about it. I want to believe.” then that is fine, but when someone does not come to you with such a request and you then attempt to impose your beliefs upon them you are wrong in your actions. What right do you have to ask me to abandon atheism and then claim that your beliefs are what I should be following? The answer is simple – you do not have any such right.

And if you respond with “I not only have the right, but I also have the responsibility to do so because God commands it!” (yes, I have been told that by people seeking to convert me to their form of Christianity) I will then challenge your faith. It is not pretty. It often results in that Christian advocate behaving very badly. It reveals the ugliness of their hypocrisy. I end up feeling very sorry for them, and my atheism is always reinforced by this example of blind faith twisting a good intention into an ugly example of human anger.

Anyhow, that is all for now! Later!